Those two glorious pink lines lit up like the warm spring sunshine.
Pregnant.
Instantly, I was elated! We had been trying to have Baby #2 for months and he or she was finally on their way! YAY! But then I had another thought: What If I go through another horrible season of depression again?
If you’ve made it to the other side of postpartum depression or anxiety and you’re not sure that you want to have another baby due to the pit you just climbed out of, you’re in good company! I was in that same spot for a long time, but after prayer and long talks with my husband I knew that God was calling our family to have another baby. I was thrilled to add another beautiful child to our family but I was not thrilled about the possibility of having severe postpartum depression again.
I needed a God-pep-talk. I needed heavenly assurance that this time things would be different. So, I went to the Lord in prayer, and here’s what He revealed to me:
- When you are gearing up to potentially fight a similar giant a second time: you know that the giant can be beaten. You know that you have the tools to overcome thanks to the greater One who lives within you (1 John 4:4).
- Even if the attack came back, it would end a whole lot sooner. I now know which medicine works for my body, which counselor I connected with well in therapy, which friends I need to open to and up rely on for help and most importantly–I know that THE GIANT WILL FALL.
- God will never leave me and He will prove Himself faithful again. If He was faithful to get me through the first time, He will be faithful to see me through again. My weapons of spiritual warfare have been sharpened thanks to my previous battle experience and I’m not afraid to use them.
The fear of past pain repeating itself has kept many of us from accepting God’s future blessings. Instead we often hide, we cope, we avoid anything that would cause potential hurt.
Friend, that’s not the way it should be. We should walk towards that giant as bold over-comers choosing to trust God in the midst of uncertainty and knowing that there is an incredible blessing on the other side of victory.
Let me wrap it up today with one of my favorite baseball quotes:
Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
Babe Ruth
I know this isn’t necessarily Biblical, but I think the message parallels what God is saying to us. Don’t let those giants from the past rob you of future blessings. God has good things in store for you!
Reflection Time:
If you feel that gentle nudge telling you that it might be time to add a new blessing to your household but you’re leary because of your past postpartum experience, pray about it! Ask God to help you process any insecurities that are still lingering in your mind and ask Him to help you develop a new level of trust in Him.
Children are an incredible blessing from the Lord, so I encourage you not to let past pain dictate your future plans. God has good things ahead for you in your future.
For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 AMP
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