A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom,
but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;
they will bring you the delights you desire.

Servants cannot be corrected by mere words;
though they understand, they will not respond.

Proverbs 29: 15, 17 & 19 NIV

Maaaammaaaa!!

The wailing continued as my 1.5 year old threw her little temper tantrum on the sandy beach. Yep. We’re at that stage of development. The tantrum one — and it’s not fun for anyone.

But today I realized how important of a stage it is.

Her kicking, swinging fists and wailing spurred me to gently grab her tiny wrists, gaze into her blue eyes at eye level and calmly say, “No. We don’t act like that.”

After a minute of me helping her realize the wrongfulness of her actions I felt embarrassed because my friend had witnessed her whole tantrum and I had had to leave the conversation I was having to deal with my daughter’s actions. Not fun.

However, prior to this moment, my husband and I had had a conversation about disciplining our children. We agreed together that no matter where we are or who we are talking to, we will step away and discipline our children, if needed. We refuse to dismiss disobedience or dishonor as “normal kid behavior.”

It wasn’t fun to have to step away from a conversation with my friend, but my 1.5 year old needed a reminder of my expectations. After a “sorry mawmaw” and a quick reset, we were back happily playing in the lake.

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Fast forward a few hours and I opened my Bible up to Proverbs 29. My eyes instantly grazed verse 15. “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” My neck stiffened as I read on. “Discipline your son, and he will give you rest, he will give delight to your heart. By mere words a servant is not disciplined, for though he understands, he will not respond.”

These are some serious verses regarding discipline. They aren’t flowery and comforting—they are directives for parents – with serious consequences when the directives aren’t followed. The choice is either I inconvenience myself now and discipline them well OR I will be ashamed of my children’s actions later. It’s not fun, or glamorous but by putting in the hard work now I know it WILL pay dividends later.

During my years as a teacher, I could walk into a classroom and instantly identify who had been raised by attentive, disciplining parents. It was obvious. Those kids didn’t rebel when a boundary or rule was given. They worked better with their classmates and other adults. They were respectful and they were overall more enjoyable to teach. The discipline they had previously encountered became the scaffolding on which their education could be built and developed.

However, the kids whom had never had boundaries before stepping into kindergarten — they were a hot mess. They were frustrated, angry, aggressive and overall unhappy. They hadn’t learned how to take direction from an adult and it cost them.

Kids need discipline from their parents, just as adults need discipline from the Lord. As I was meditating on these scriptures, the Holy Spirit prompted my heart with this:

“I need you to discipline them now, so I can direct them later.”

What is the ultimate reason that we discipline our kids? It’s not just so they become kind, obedient children. It’s so that they become skilled at following the Holy Spirit’s direction. They first learn to listen and obey their earthly parents, so that they later are able to be directed by their Heavenly Father. If we, as parents, don’t take the time to inconvenience ourselves by disciplining our children well — we are ultimately setting them up for a hard life of not following the Lord.

Mama, your momentary inconvenience is a spiritual win for their souls. Don’t discount this stage.

Let me finish out this post by pointing out some things in verse 19: “By mere words a servant is not disciplined, for though he understands, he will not respond.”

Saying, “no” is not enough. If you haven’t figured it out kids will run all over you if a verbal “no” is all you have. There has to be some physical consequence backing up the “no.” Timeout? Removal from the scene? A favorite toy taken away? Something has to be done so that the “no” is backed up or they won’t respect the boundary. Consistency and backing up the boundaries that you give them, are so incredibly important.

Discipline is God-honoring. Discipline is hard work. Discipline is not fun all the time. However, having a child whom the Lord can easily direct as a result of the discipline they received in childhood—worth every minute.

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Reflection Questions:

How do you feel about disciplining your child? Is there an area that you can improve in?

Were you disciplined well as a child? What area of your life do you need to tighten up?

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